D-d-d-down

New meds. My new shrink took me off Amatriptaline and started me on Abilify.  Thinking it’s supposed to make the manic episodes easier.

So far it’s just messed heavily with my blood pressure. And when it normalizes I sleep for hours and wake up crampy and sore. I’ve not had many bp issues before so it’s all a big shock to my system. Of course I haven’t had it long enough to see many good benefits yet. So I’m not going to ragequit it just yet.

To be honest, if people weren’t selfish hateful ffdbs here I’d be okay.

Wow. OK. Like, things like the above have started coming out. I’ve always been the mouth shut person. I don’t judge. I try to be kind. And it’s not because I’m actually nice. It’s because I want to be liked. The depression is bitterness at myself for being such an inner bitch.

I want to be a supervillain. Regina on Once Upon a Time. That’s the closest to my mental state. Only i keep it in because I don’t have fabulous magic powers.

I was going to share something from my Facebook page that shows this, but I can’t. I’m on the phone and it won’t copy and paste. Go look it up if you’d like. Add me if you want as well, just throw a message letting me know where you came from. I don’t add just random people who want to puff out their friends lists. But if you’re from here you’re part of my extended online tribe. Amy Linebaugh Mays is my name on there.

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